It was said that ‘mid-life crisis’ would strike when a person hit their forties, causing them to suddenly buy a sports car, dye their hair, and start hitting the gym to reclaim their youth. But with time, it either seems it has disappeared altogether, or has simply arrived earlier than expected.
So what happened to the mid-life crisis? Well, turns out it is hitting people earlier these days. According to a study by the National Institute on Aging, the average age of mid-life crisis has dropped from 45 to 35 in the past few decades. This means that people are experiencing feelings of restlessness, dissatisfaction and uncertainty that were once associated with one’s 40s much earlier in life.
According to Psychology Today, midlife is “that transitional period of life between young adulthood and old age. Middle-aged people often undergo significant changes in their relationships, jobs, and health and their appearance.” Furthermore, it's a well- researched fact that it’s the perfect time to start embracing negative thinking and self-fulfilling prophecies. Why bother trying new things when you can just give up and blame it on age? You might think you’re too old for skiing. But have you tried Tai Chi? It's like skiing, but minus the cold or the risk of breaking a hip. Plus, it's great for your knees. So why not give it a try? You might actually enjoy yourself!
However, one’s choices are no longer about dealing and placating but about renewal and rebirth. Habit Coach Ashdin Doctor, who regulates a popular podcast on changing habits, and who himself experienced a major life transformation (or an early mid-life crisis) at 30 finds this shift to be very interesting. “Unlike previous generations, this generation (the same one that coined the term ‘adulting’) is, for the first time, questioning the norms and standards bequeathed upon them from earlier generations. Cross-examining institutions like marriage, or questioning if their out-of-school career choices are still feeling right means that many of them are experiencing mid-life crisis much earlier, some even as early as 21,” he says.
One reason for this shift is the changing nature of work. With many people entering the workforce earlier than previous generations, they may feel a sense of burnout or disillusionment with their career by the time they hit their 30s. Additionally, the rise of the gig economy and the prevalence of contract work means that most people do not have the job security or stability that was once common during midlife.
Research has also shown that people are getting married and having children later in their lives, which means that they may be experiencing the challenges of midlife at a much younger age. In fact, a study by the London School of Economics found that having children is one of the major factors contributing to mid-life unhappiness.
So what does a mid-life crisis look like in the age of early midlife? According to Doctor, “When the question of ‘is this life worth living?’ arises, it’s a very powerful statement. It is during this time that powerful changes take place.” With an earlier onset of the crisis, it now might involve a little less hair dye and a little more avocado toast. Instead of buying a Porsche, you might splurge on a fancy gym membership or a designer handbag. Maybe it’s not a divorce that you need but an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru. Rather than quitting your job, you might consider starting a side hustle or taking a sabbatical. Or, as Doctor mentions, “The previous generation’s crisis was all about Harley Davidsons; this generation’s is ‘destroying ourselves’.”
Mid-life crisis is getting a millennial makeover. Of course, just because it is arriving earlier doesn't mean that it's any less real. People still experience feelings of restlessness and dissatisfaction, and they may still make impulsive decisions so as to feel younger. The difference is that these behaviours are no longer seen as a mid-life crisis–they are just part of life in the modern world.
So what does this mean? For one thing, we need to rethink our ideas about what midlife looks like. For instance, actor Michelle Yeoh just won her first Oscar at 60. Rather than viewing it as a time of ‘crisis’, we should see it as a natural stage in the journey of life.
Perhaps, more importantly, we need to recognise that the challenges of midlife can strike at any age. Whether you're in your 30s or , it's important to take stock of your life and figure out what is really important to you. That might involve making a major career change, or maybe it means focusing more on your relationships and health. It then becomes important to be proactive about your life and take control of your own happiness.
So while the mid-life crisis may be disappearing, its challenges and opportunities are still very real. The good news is that we're better equipped than ever to face these challenges and make the most of this stage of life. With better access to information, resources and support, we are able to navigate the ups and downs of midlife with greater ease, be it in terms of attempting to get more spiritual, fitter, better informed or successful.