IDENTITY

Here's why Indian men are exploring sex toys

By Barry Rodgers
14 July, 2023

For decades, sex toys were largely marketed to women, with male sex toys only starting to appear in the last few years

When Ayushi and Jay (names changed) visited Akihabara in Tokyo, they stumbled upon a seven-storeyed sex toy store and were enamoured by the range of toys available. But they weren't sure if they would be caught at Customs upon landing in India, so they decided against buying anything. Since that trip, the couple has been experimenting with sex toys consistently. At first, it was Jay who would buy toys for Ayushi. But then Ayushi decided to flip the script and gift Jay a masturbation sleeve to tide him over when he travels. "I think it's important to switch things up in the bedroom. We've indulged in anal play and introduced toys in the bedroom to benefit both of us. Very few couples would do something like this because it may appear that they do not mutually satisfy each other," says Ayushi. 

The Jason Biggs warm apple pie scene from American Pie. Image: Twitter @mubiuk

MyMuse, India’s first bedroom essentials brand, makes intimacy approachable and fun. Image: MyMuse

The numbers don't lie

The sex toy industry is large and growing. In fact, according to Statista, the global sex toy market is expected to grow steadily between 2019 to 2026, from approximately US$27.17 billion to around US$52.7 billion in that time period, reaching a value of US$80.7 billion by 2030.

In India, the sale of sex toys witnessed a 65 per cent jump in the post-lockdown phase, according to an analytical survey conducted by ThatsPersonal.com, a sexual and wellness product retailer. Data also points out that while men spent more time on the website, women made the most purchases. 

These numbers speak of a sexual revolution globally, with more and more couples experimenting in the bedroom. While women have been leading the way when it comes to the use of toys, men are slowly catching up. Even in India, the product offerings by various homegrown brands range from regular dildos to anal plugs and more sophisticated apparatus that hits the spot. 

Breaking taboos

But why has it taken so long for Indian men to embrace sex toys? Vishal Vyas, AVP of Marketing at TTK Healthcare, which recently launched an e-superstore for sexual wellness and pleasure products called Love Depot, believes the societal constraints and taboos regarding the pursuit of pleasure give rise to stigmas, subsequently casting a negative shadow on anything associated with personal enjoyment. Moreover, men are frequently conditioned to view the utilisation of pleasure products as a reflection of their inadequacy. 

"In the current societal framework, it appears that both men and women experience equal stigma when using pleasure products, underscoring the urgency to confront this issue. We firmly advocate for everyone's right to indulge in love and pleasure, whether experienced through self-love or in partnership with others. Additionally, any legal activities conducted within the sanctity of one's home should remain free from public scrutiny. To accomplish this challenging feat, we must dismantle these stigmas surrounding pleasure and pleasure products, such as sex toys," says Vyas. 

Strokers and masturbators only scratch the surface of pleasure products for men. The brand also retails penis rings with multiple modes, temperature settings, and remote-controlled functionality. 

A sexual revolution is brewing quietly with more and more men experimenting with sex toys. Image: Unsplash

More evolved

But a quick scan through most sexual wellness websites in India and abroad throws up an interesting observation: Why are there limited options for men? One answer could be that women's sexual anatomy offers various erogenous zones and stimulation possibilities. This diversity has led to different toys designed to target various areas like the clitoris or the G-spot. 

In terms of the penile anatomy, there's wide individual variability in penis length and girth to consider. There's also variability in what kinds of sensations might feel good and different masturbatory techniques that different men might use. And so having a one-size-fits-all device offering the kind of stimulation that every man wants is a tall order to fill. Then there's the orgasm gap, where men, on average, achieve an orgasm much more consistently than women do. And so, men might not necessarily feel like they need a sex toy for stimulation. 

New players

MyMuse, a homegrown bedroom essentials brand, has slowly changed that narrative in India. Their cheeky promotional videos online have struck a chord with most men in India. "Beat and Jack—both of our massagers for men—are bestsellers and are often sold out completely," says Sahil Gupta, co-founder, MyMuse India. 

For the brand, it's all about the design and messaging of male pleasure products. They keep the Indian mindset at the heart of their designs. Additionally, they're completely gender and sexuality neutral, so anyone can enjoy the products, whether it's for solo or partnered play. 

"We spend a lot of time in R&D to ensure that our massagers are compact, sleek and look like any of your other tech gadgets. There is also a special focus on discreet delivery and billing, ensuring our packages don’t raise eyebrows. Plus, when discussing our products, we always do it tastefully and inclusively. We focus on how they can enhance pleasure and overall sexual well-being because that's what it's all about," adds Anushka Gupta, co-founder, MyMuse India.

Male sex toys globally now come with multiple modes, temperature settings, and remote-controlled functionality. Image: Unsplash

Brands are invested in making completely gender and sexuality neutral. Image: Unsplash

A new wave

When Anil (name changed), an advertising professional based in New Delhi, first considered buying a toy, he was apprehensive. Owing to his current living arrangement (he lives with family and shares a room with his younger brother), he's always been discreet about exploring new ways to stimulate himself. However, he recently purchased a toy from a US-based website resembling a mug. It is fitted with a stimulator that does all the stroking for its owner. It's also Bluetooth-enabled, allowing Anil to listen to music while engaged. "Once I'm done, I wash it and store it in my cupboard. Even if someone does find it, they won't think much of it because it resembles a mug," he says.

Raj Armani, co-founder and COO, IMbesharam.com, an adult toy store, says when he started the business in 2013, 85 per cent of the traffic on the website comprised men, and 75 per cent of the products being sold were for men, including masturbators, cock rings, and prostate massagers. "From 2016, however, things started to change. More women users frequented the website, and more products were being sold because the range for women increased with increased demand.” Did men stop shopping less? “We noticed that the growth for men was a slow slope, but it did not decline. That means we've always enjoyed steady sales," he says. 

Armani believes that while the West has caught up with more interactive sextech, including Virtual Reality and sex robots, Indian men are still developing an interest in experimenting with toys. "Investing in sextech is also an expensive proposition for most men in India, so for now, the more economical options are preferred. Once more men in Tier-II and Tier-III cities find merit in investing in toys, we can hope to see a greater shift to more sophisticated options that will allow men to involve their partners (via a call facility) in penile stimulation," he says.

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