I love hugs. Not the fleeting, ephemeral, side-to-side kind you instinctively partake in at social gatherings with acquaintances. But real hugs, the kinds that last more than three seconds, and which somehow make you feel better about whatever the hell it is you were feeling, even if momentarily. Depending on who you’re getting a hug from, at what point in your life and the variation of it, the almost effortless gesture can communicate and impact one’s state of mind immensely without a single spoken word. And sometimes when it's out of reach, even the thought, remembrance or anticipation of a warm embrace from a loved one can incite hope or a gentle smile.
A pandemic and extreme isolation has made us realise the importance of connection, bonding and touch. Have you ever wondered why hugs are integral to human interactions? “Humans are social beings and need human interactions to feel safe and nurtured. The tactile sense is an important way in which we experience the world,” explains Aekta Brahmbhatt, psychologist, counsellor and founder of Inner Growth Counseling, Mumbai. This feeling of comfort starts from the day we are born. “Young infants and toddlers cry when they can't express themselves verbally and feel relieved when they are lifted and cuddled,” she adds. The crying generally stops in the warm embrace of their caregivers, “This psychological safety is important for the physical and emotional development of human beings.” But as with all things that come easily or are available in abundance, its abilities are often ignored or taken for granted. Because, at the end of the day, it’s just a hug, right?
We know that under our skin lie sensory nerves that carry signals to the brain that help us touch, see, smell and taste. Certain parts of our body also have touch-sensitive nerves that signal the emotional processing region of our brain, releasing a myriad of neurochemicals. One such chemical release–a result of gentle skin stimulation–is oxytocin, a natural hormone that, apart from managing key aspects of the male and female reproductive systems, also impacts human behaviour. Due to its stress-reducing, connection strengthening characteristics, it has earned many tags, like the ‘love hormone,’ ‘cuddle hormone’ or ‘bonding hormone’. For those who are averse to human hugs, there is good news: oxytocin levels are also known to increase in dogs and their owners during petting and stroking. So yes, simply put, hugs can help ‘alter’ your state of mind or how you feel.
Hugging can also help with physical as well as emotional issues, “Hugs can reduce our anxiety and stress levels and eliminate feelings of neglect or isolation,” says Brahmbhatt. This is because they help decrease the release of cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, that when released in excess, can lead to many physical and psychological issues including anxiety, depression, headaches and high blood pressure.
Some studies also link hugging to a stronger immune system. One such research surveyed the roles of perceived social support and received-hugs in buffering against interpersonal stress-induced susceptibility to infectious disease. The researchers found that when people had conflict in their day and fewer hugs, they were more likely to become ill. It isn’t to say that hugs will boost your immunity, but it will certainly help support it. “Hugs make us feel more resilient and supported, and can lower our heart rate and blood pressure as we feel calm and safe,” adds Brahmbhatt.
Hugs strengthen connections and social bonds and also help coping with stress. They can be done in so many different ways: big, 20-30-second bear hugs—reserved for special people in our lives whom we completely love and trust; tree-hugs, literally hugging trees that can make us feel calmer and centred; pet-hugs; and self-hugs! If you ever find yourself in a situation when a comforting hug from a loved one isn’t possible, try simple, self-loving gestures like placing your hand on your heart, closing your eyes and taking slow deep breaths to feel aligned and connected within.
“Breathing in, I know my dear one is in my arms, alive. Breathing out, she is so precious to me.”— Thich Nhat Hanh.
What better way to advocate the healing power of hugs than by noting down the great zen Buddhist monk and teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh’s ‘hugging meditation’. The act requires us to let go of our cynicism, be completely present, breathe consciously and really hug, wholeheartedly, mindfully, for three in-and-out breaths. First, stand facing each other, align your breath and establish your presence. Then open your arms and hug. In your first inhale and exhale, become aware that you and your beloved are both alive; in the second inhale and exhale, think of where you will both be three hundred years from now; and with the third, be aware of how precious it is that you are both still alive. Ultimately, remember that you don’t need a situation to arise or a reason to hug someone you care about. They could do with one right now–you could do with one right now.