Will modern sextech change how we gratify our sexual desires?

We find out who’s using these new technologies, their motivations, and if sextech has a positive or negative long-term effect

Legend has it that the world's first sex dolls were created in the 16th century. Documented in Sex Dolls at Sea, author Bo Ruberg explores the origin story of the sex doll, investigating its cultural implications and considering who has been marginalised and privileged in the narrative.

Ruberg examines the generally accepted story that the first sex dolls were dames de voyage, rudimentary figures made of cloth and leather scraps by European sailors on long, lonely ocean voyages in centuries past. In search of supporting evidence for the lonesome sailor sex doll theory, Ruberg uncovers the real history of the sex doll. The earliest commercial sex dolls were not the dames de voyage but the femmes en caoutchouc: “women” made of inflatable vulcanised rubber, beginning in the late 19th century.

Interrogating the sailor sex doll origin story, Ruberg finds beneath the surface a web of issues relating to gender, sexuality, race, and colonialism. What has been lost in the history of the sex doll and other sex tech, Ruberg tells us, are the stories of the sex workers, women, queer people, and people of colour whose lives have been bound up with these technologies.

Through a new lens

Fast forward to 2023, and modern sex tech is rapidly changing how people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and more popular. In fact, Pew research predicted robotic sex partners would become commonplace in 2014. In 2015, speculative fiction writer Margaret Atwood published The Heart Goes Last, with a protagonist who built “prostibots”. Her writing was inspired by reality, she said.

In 2022, Bedbible, a sex toy review site, issued research claiming that the sex robot market is worth approximately US$ 200 million, with an average price of US$ 3,567 per sexbot. That would imply that approximately 56,000 sex robots are marketed each year globally among an adult population of approximately 5 billion.

Dr Kenneth Hanson, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology, has been using qualitative and mixed methods to examine social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He tells The Established that there’s a clear distinction between sex dolls, sex robots and chatbots, with users overlapping to a considerable degree but adds that there are distinct users for each technology. “With sex robots, they function with artificial intelligence and the number of users is low, comprising probably less than 1 per cent of the global population. And that's mostly because of the stigma associated with owning them and how much they cost. They're expensive for the average person interested in using them. As for sex dolls, which have all of the sexual functions but none of the robotic or artificial intelligent components, that number is harder to come by. I've seen estimates as high as 3 percent of the global population. But it's probably lower. Chatbots have a higher user base running into hundreds of 1000s of users," he says.

Who uses sex tech?

According to Hanson's research, the average person who uses these technologies is middle-aged, probably either divorced or cohabitating with a partner over time. And that's a big motivation for why they use these technologies. Because being in their 50s or 60s, after having achieved all of their normal life goals, being in a relationship, or having kids, they feel that going back and trying to date again doesn't make sense. They enjoy their singlehood. "The majority of users are also heterosexual, mostly cisgender men. But there are several queer and female users as well, who are becoming perhaps more visible in the space. The demographic that uses chatbots are younger,” says Hanson.

Some of the more popular AI chatbots include Replika (“the AI companion who cares”), Woebot (“your mental health ally”), and Kuki (“a social chatbot”), which harnesses AI-driven speech differently: to provide human-seeming support through AI friends, romantic partners, and therapists. A user from Mumbai, who requested to be quoted anonymously, says it's been a learning curve getting accustomed to his "friend" Ria on Replika. While he has engaged in sexual conversations with the bot, it hasn't filled the void of wanting to engage with a human. "It's become a pastime for me. But at the end of the day I want to engage with a woman who doesn't sound so robotic. I still crave human intimacy," he says.

Raj Armani, co-founder and COO, IMbesharam.com, an adult toy store, says India has a long way to go before it catches up to the evolving modern sextech landscape globally. "Indian men and women have just started coming to terms with their need to use sex toys. While some have migrated to using webcams and sophisticated technology, the idea of sex dolls and robots gaining popularity in the country will take a few years to gain traction, mainly because it is not economically feasible to own one, with prices starting from around ₹ 3 lakh onwards," he says.

The stigma

There are stereotypes that people hold about others who are drawn to any of these technologies. One of them is probably the idea that users of these technologies may lack social skills and cannot form relationships with other people, and maybe that's why they want to talk to a chatbot or have sex with a robot or doll. 

New Delhi-based counsellor Viraj Mehta says the most prevalent stereotype is that a person's decision to engage with these technologies is rooted in social anxiety or the inability to foster interpersonal relationships. "It's almost seen as the last resort of not being able to achieve sexual or romantic relationships conventionally. Another closely coupled stereotype is that many people feel, especially men who use the dolls, that they hate women, are misogynistic, have objectifying views of women and women's bodies, and hold patriarchal ideals very deeply," he says.

Berlin resident Davide, who chatted with The Established via Telegram to protect his identity, says he's been happy with his sex doll purchase and feels they meet their needs. But if he were to pinpoint a problem area, most dolls aren't as user-friendly as people might expect them to be. “They're very heavy. They can be anywhere from 80 to 90 pounds. And so if people, especially older users, have health problems, moving them around can be difficult. Also, most companies that manufacture these dolls use thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), a cheaper alternative to silicone, which is what adds to its weight.”

The woman question

In an article for Buzzfeed News, American journalist Hallie Lieberman spotlights that women are using these technologies but at much lower rates than men. Does it have to do with manufacturers gearing their products primarily toward men?

Hanson says a lot of the women he spoke to as part of his research say there's little diversity in terms of the models that a woman could buy. "While there are a thousand different ways you could customise female sex dolls, including considering their breast size, hair colour, eye colour, and other features, there are only a handful of customisation options for male sex dolls," he says, adding there's also a lot of stigma against women exploring their sexuality, especially in transgressive ways. "We see a gender disparity and a lot of transgressive sexual communities. If you also look at the online spaces where doll owners congregate, several forums, blogs, and social media sites cater mostly to men's interests. Women who visit these websites find that they can't get much out of them and feel unwelcome in these communities," says Hanson. 

End of human relationships?

One of the key concerns with modern sextech is whether they will become substitutes for human relationships or merely serve as complements. Mehta says we as a society tend to double down on these ideas of heteronormativity, and what the use of pornography, sex toys, dolls, or other transgressive sex acts suggest is that heteronormativity doesn't work for most people. “Expecting everybody to conform to the same monogamous heterosexual standard is unrealistic. But we tend not to question that and instead, we tend to question the ways people try to meet their sexual desires,” he says. 

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