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How do you find your voice in a segment that is currently booming? Four educators weigh in

For these content creators, sex education isn’t just about telling you how to achieve an orgasm

How do you find your voice in a segment that is currently booming? Four educators weigh in

Sexuality has historically been a sensitive and often taboo subject in India, but times are changing. The COVID-19 lockdown has catalysed more open and inclusive conversations about sex that have gained acceptance in the mainstream. This dialogue has found its way into discussions on social media, educating and informing individuals across generations, from Millennials to Gen Z, on how to navigate this essential aspect of human life.

However, the conversations aren’t limited to just sexual health; they now extend to sexual self-acceptance and love. Sexual health and wellness educators in India are increasingly emphasising consent education, where the focus is on equipping children with knowledge about the importance of consent and teaching their parents about setting and respecting boundaries.

It also involves helping preteens understand that puberty is a natural part of life, and providing support, especially to those whose mental health is affected by it or who experience puberty incongruent with their gender identity.

Asa Butterfield as Otis Milburn, a socially awkward teenager who gives sex advice to his peers. Image: Netflix

Asa Butterfield as Otis Milburn, a socially awkward teenager who gives sex advice to his peers. Image: Netflix

Sexual health and wellness educators in India are increasingly emphasising consent education. Image: Pexels

Sexual health and wellness educators in India are increasingly emphasising consent education. Image: Pexels

A new frontier

Sex education now encompasses the need to promote a safe and respectful hook-up culture and debunking harmful stereotypes that link one’s sexual activity with moral judgments (e.g., being labeled a “slut" or “stud”). Moreover, it emphasises that not having an interest in sex is also valid and doesn’t make someone a “prude”.

This growing focus on our relationship with our sexuality and the broader understanding of diversity and inclusion reflects a positive shift in society’s attitudes toward sex and sexual health. It fosters a more accepting and supportive environment for all individuals, regardless of their background or identity.

Open to learning

Sexuality educator Karishma Swarup pursued a diverse academic path, majoring in geology-biology at Brown University, in addition to dedicating three years to part-time training and playing a pivotal role in facilitating peer sexual education for high school students in the United States under the auspices of Planned Parenthood. For her, the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns made a dent in her plans of meeting students in person to continue training. “I decided to launch my Instagram page and began posting content. I didn’t have a well-defined strategy in place, such as a posting schedule or content plan but was taken aback by the rapid growth of the page. Initially, my goal was to reach as many young people as possible, but over time, I realised that this information was valuable to individuals of all age groups, extending beyond just school-going kids and encompassing the realities of adult life,” she says. 

Swarup says she found that people tend to be more open to learning about sexual health when they come across content that addresses subjects they’ve never considered or encountered before, which, she adds, speaks to the general lack of comprehensive sex education.

Exploring kink

For Tejaswi Subramanian, a sexual health and wellness educator as well as the digital editor at Gaysi Family, their journey into discussing topics related to sexuality and kink began around 2019 when they started becoming more open about their sexuality. “I identify as bisexual and asexual. It was during this period that I realised that kink played a significant role in my personal experience of sexual identity. Kink, for me, became a means to enhance interest in sexual activities and build intimacy. It struck me that this aspect of human sexuality was often overlooked in discussions, especially because asexuality is sometimes erroneously considered against the norm,” they tell The Established.

This growing focus on our relationship with our sexuality reflects a positive shift in society’s attitudes toward sex and sexual health. Image: Pexels

This growing focus on our relationship with our sexuality reflects a positive shift in society’s attitudes toward sex and sexual health. Image: Pexels

As Subramanian was coming to terms with their bisexuality and becoming more open about it with their friends, they felt a growing inclination to explore and discuss kink in greater depth. “I began conversing about this with a friend who shared similar interests, and we decided to conduct Instagram Live sessions. These sessions took place during the early months of the lockdown in 2020, and they focused on BDSM and our respective perspectives and experiences. It was a collaborative effort, as my friend also identifies as bisexual and shares a similar background in terms of university experiences,” they say. These Live sessions marked the beginning of their journey in creating content around the topic of kink and sexuality. 

The landscape of sexual education often appears to have narrow boundaries, primarily focusing on discussions of pleasure. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that there are individuals who have questions and concerns about sexuality that extend beyond the realms of penetration and achieving an orgasm. Subramanian emphasises the importance of reaching out to and providing information and support to these individuals, recognising that their needs and experiences are diverse and may encompass a wide range of topics related to sexuality and sexual health. Expanding the scope of sexual education to address these broader aspects ensures that everyone can access valuable knowledge and guidance to lead fulfilling and informed sexual lives.

And so, for Subramanian, learning is a continuous process, especially when it comes to understanding complex aspects of human sexuality. “I’ve drawn valuable insights from various sex educators and commentators, particularly regarding the profound impact of trauma on the mind and body’s responses, as well as the diverse ways in which this can manifest. It’s been a revelation to recognise that the notion of having your sexuality figured out by a certain age, like 13, is far from the truth. Instead, one’s relationship with one’s sexuality evolves throughout life, influenced by a multitude of factors, including trauma, grief, and a spectrum of human experiences and emotions,” they say. 

The concept of consent has also taken on a deeper significance for Subramanian, not merely as an isolated act but as a fundamental element of a culture surrounding sexual interactions. “I’ve learned how power dynamics are often perpetuated within these encounters, a realisation that has come from the wisdom shared by others. Additionally, the notion of touch as a form of intimacy has evolved my understanding of sexuality. While I initially viewed sex as primarily pleasure-driven, I’ve come to appreciate, especially in my 30s, how sexual intimacy can play a pivotal role in building relationships and fostering bonds and dependencies among individuals,” they add.

Sexuality educator Karishma Swarup. Image: Healthshots.com

Sexuality educator Karishma Swarup. Image: Healthshots.com

Tejaswi Subramanian discusses topics related to sexuality and kink. Image: Instagram.com/tejness

Tejaswi Subramanian discusses topics related to sexuality and kink. Image: Instagram.com/tejness

Sexuality and spirituality

Mumbai-born and US-based sexuality educator Kaamna Bhojwani has been using her media platform, KaamnaLive, for topics that make people uncomfortable, including sex and relationships, therapy, aging, and ‘man-o-pause.’ Over the past three years, KaamnaLive has become a forum for discussions on difficult subjects such as sexless marriages, infidelity, and colourism. 

“In my studies at Columbia University, I have doubled down on understanding human sexuality and how we have disconnected it from our spirituality. I have studied the absence of healthy sexuality and its implications on our mental, physical and spiritual health,” says Bhojwani.

Growing up in a far-from-traditional household in Mumbai, where her father encouraged openness and trust when it came to relationships, provided Bhojwani with a strong foundation for understanding and accepting her own sexuality and sexual identity. “My dad always told my sister and me to bring the boys home. And what it did was it signalled for us that, you know, our safety mattered,” she says. 

Bhojwani’s need to understand sexuality better led her to embark on a journey that took her to various countries, including the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia. She observed a common thread of sexual shame and repression prevailing worldwide. While her initial intention was to cover taboo topics broadly, it quickly became evident that sexuality-related content resonated most strongly with her audience. Topics such as why women cheat and sexless marriages gained widespread popularity, affirming Bhojwani’s intuition that people were hungry for information and discussions related to these crucial aspects of human life. “It’s important that as a sexuality content creator, my willingness to explore these topics openly and candidly has made a meaningful impact on fostering greater understanding and openness surrounding the subject,” she says.

Bhojwani’s advice to anyone starting out as a sexual health and wellness educator online is to develop a thick skin. “My openness and the manner in which I present myself, with a notable emphasis on body positivity and self-expression, has ensured I receive inappropriate comments or trolling. In certain instances, especially when I address controversial subjects—like a video I did discussing female infidelity—I got strong reactions, particularly from those who may find the discussion discomforting or thought-provoking. Certain male viewers expressed anger, potentially stemming from a perception that I was justifying female infidelity,” she says. 

Bhojwani asserts that being an educator entails continuous learning on the job, with moments of revelation that contribute to one’s growth in the field. She emphasises a significant lesson she has gleaned, particularly in the context of sexual shame, which revolves around the extent to which men grapple with this issue. Her insights are informed not only by academic research but also by her personal experiences in one-on-one practice and interviews conducted for her research.

“Much like how societal norms have imposed certain expectations and limitations on female sexuality, they have similarly confined male sexuality within predefined boundaries. Men often contend with societal pressures that assess their worth based on factors such as the size of their penis, their sexual history, or their role as the primary sexual initiator,” she says, emphasising the necessity of being cautious about perpetuating these stereotypes and advocates for recognising individuals as unique entities, free from such limiting expectations.

Kaamna Bhojwani has been using her media platform to discuss sex and relationships, therapy, aging, and ‘man-o-pause.’ Image: Instagram.com/kaamnalive

Kaamna Bhojwani has been using her media platform to discuss sex and relationships, therapy, aging, and ‘man-o-pause.’ Image: Instagram.com/kaamnalive

As a sexuality educator, Apurupa makes people aware of the agency they possess. Image: Instagram.com/inapurupriate

As a sexuality educator, Apurupa makes people aware of the agency they possess. Image: Instagram.com/inapurupriate

Across the spectrum

A year ago, sexuality education also suffered from representation. There was little content when it came to giving other individuals on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum a voice. This prompted sexual and reproductive health educator Apurupa to get into the game. “My own lived experiences drove my journey into sexual health content creation as a neuroqueer person who didn’t receive any sex ed and the realisation of a significant gap in comprehensive sexuality education in the Indian context,” she says. Her on-ground work as a sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice programmer, having worked with 5,000 adolescents, their parents, educators, and cultural and religious stakeholders in rural and peri-urban settings, informs Apurupa’s content.

Surprisingly, she’s discovered that individuals in rural settings can be quite open to topics centered on sexual health when the content is tailored to their context and takes into account their lived experiences. “My approach to addressing this subject is deeply rooted in cultural sensitivity,” she says.

As a sexuality educator, Apurupa has learned that making people aware of the agency they possess can help them playfully explore different facets of themselves and various ways of being. “It serves as a powerful means to connect with our bodies, become aware of our triggers (both positive and negative), and can even improve body image. It’s crucial to emphasise that we are never too old to embark on this journey of self-pleasure, and it can start with something as simple as gazing at our bodies in the mirror and gently running our hands across them. It might also involve becoming more mindful of our existing self-pleasure practices,” she says.

Open conversations about self-pleasure, not only in sexual settings but also in social contexts, such as casual dinner table conversations, can go a long way in normalising this aspect of the human experience, believes Apurupa. It doesn’t need to be something we excel at; self-pleasure can be confusing, intimidating, interesting, humorous, mundane, fantastic, or simply fun. This diversity of experiences deserves representation in popular media and even in adult cinema. 

Meta problem

Despite their collective objective of generating content that explores the diverse aspects of sexuality, certain educators contend that the perpetual demand for content creation can become emotionally taxing at times. Subramanian expresses the sentiment that, occasionally, they forget that they are ordinary individuals who wish to employ their social media platforms as a means of self-expression without the constant concern of crafting a particular persona. “I prioritise sharing content that personally resonates with viewers, which may include sharing humorous memes or engaging in spontaneous and unscripted posts,” they say.

And then there’s the ongoing battle with Meta, with many creators facing shadow-banning by the social media giant. In January 2022, the nonprofit organisation Center for Intimacy Justice disclosed a discovery indicating that the parent company of Facebook and Instagram declined advertisements from numerous women’s reproductive health organisations. These rejections were purportedly made on the basis of content being categorised as “adult content” or promoting “adult products and services.”

Meta shadow-banned Apurupa’s account, and at one point, even temporarily took it down. “I navigated it in a very by-the-book manner—reaching out to platform support, adhering closely to content guidelines, and staying vigilant to ensure that my content aligned with their policies as much as possible, which even included censoring myself. That’s the sad reality, but it’s a reminder of the challenges that content creators in sensitive fields like comprehensive sexuality education (CSE) may encounter and the importance of resilience in continuing to provide valuable information and support to our communities,” she says.

Also Read: Sexually Speaking: Your essential guide to pleasure and health

Also Read: Will modern sextech change how we gratify our sexual desires?

Also Read: Are women in India taking more risks sexually?


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